Genuine Appreciation

It’s amazing how much we take for granted. The beauty around us, the company of wonderful people, the food we enjoy every day (the coffee, the wine, the steak)… the ability to simply exist normally, your body doing its part to keep you going, routinely.

That last part, that huge, last part, is what amazes me the most. Presently, I am still recovering from a horrific, month-long flare of my digestive autoimmune disease, ulcerative colitis. I feel 150% better, but in actuality, am probably only 80% better. It will take another few weeks (and then some) before I begin to achieve remission. But already, it’s amazing how wonderful life feels.

As I drove into work on Monday, I found myself so happy, I couldn’t stop smiling. And it was Monday! I listened to “Sky Full Of Stars” by Coldplay, blasting it at top volume, and felt so good, I got tears in my eyes. To be going to work, in my routine again, almost without pain, able to eat without issue, not bound to a place with a bathroom ten feet away (seriously)… I felt so blessed.

I’m in a state of amazement, and I know it will fade. So I’m holding on as long as I can. I will never again take for granted my body and how it functions, doing its thing, automatically. Because when it doesn’t, when it attacks itself, as mine unfortunately will if untreated, it’s a disaster. But, when it works right, like it was meant to, it’s an amazing thing. It’s truly almost unbelievable.

I wrote a song years back, called “The Heart” (which I plan to include in my next project), and it’s about how our hearts don’t ever quit our entire lives. Every day, they beat, on their own, keeping everything moving. Until they don’t. But while they do, here we are, just trying to get through every day, totally unaware of the miraculous contraption that just keeps beating away. 

All of this just makes me want to love and appreciate things all the more, to soak it up and give myself away and not be afraid. I’ve found myself looking people in the eye more, being more assertive, being less worried. This is hugely beneficial, considering I’ve always been a big worrier, even as a kid. Stress plays a big role in my disease and its flares, and the less I can have, the better.

Onward and upward, I won’t quit! It’s just getting better all the time, and I'm so incredibly grateful and appreciative.