The Moment
Here I am feeling a new version of myself unfolding! It feels like it's sneaked up on me, been poking me in the back for a while, and now I've finally noticed it. I've been reading books (which is totally out of character for me) and been insanely inspired by them. Maybe it's the books, or my new marriage, or the changes that happen on a daily basis. But here is my own little note of newness, mostly written for myself, but also for whoever might get a kick out of my realizations.
I am a big fan of The Moment. I’ve been waiting for it forever. I’ve been hoping and waiting for this magical moment to come along, completely redefine my life and make things exactly as I think they should be. I can see that woman that I think I should become. I can just imagine the life my husband and I will have if everything goes as planned.
And yet it dawned on me again, like it does nearly every day: Life almost never goes as planned, and what you think you need isn’t usually right. I will tell almost anyone how many times it seems my life has gone off course, only to remember that I’m where I am today because of those alternate routes.
We can map out our lives, and we all try to do it a little every day. We set routines, we get up, we get our coffee, we go to work, we visit with friends, and we come home. We’re controlling our lives, right?
What about those little things that happen throughout our scheduled days? What about those sparkling moments that glisten in our eyes so quickly we don’t even see them? What if they had a say?
They certainly do make a difference; we just don’t notice it until way later when our lives have turned into something we never dreamed of. I use that phrase neutrally, because sometimes, our lives are not something we’re proud of. Sometimes we wish we had different jobs, lived somewhere else or acted differently. We hope and pray for something to come along to change us.
But those little sparkling moments are already hard at work, every day, changing us and forming us into beings even more beautiful than we’ve always been. This is The Moment. And it’s passing by every day without being grasped. Life is just waiting for us to take it, just waiting for us to jump up and down enthusiastically. All this time, The Moment was right in front of my face!
I keep dreaming of my life a year (or five years) from now, when everything is in its place, my career is flourishing and money is no longer an issue. I keep thinking of the perfection I’ll be surrounded by when that life arrives. And I fail to see the beauty and wonder of life already existing around me. This is my life, and this is my moment!
I am reading a book called Cold Tangerines. In it, the author, Shauna Niequist, speaks frankly about her life’s journey, how she failed to see the happiness in front of her and what life is like now that she’s refused to let negativity get the best of her. It’s hard to put down. I’m a few dozen pages in, and I swear, parts of this book read like my own autobiography. It’s funny how similar we all are in that respect. We’re all searching for the big thing that’s going to make our lives suddenly pop into something grand.
What I’ve always known and realize even more as I read this book, is how subtle the events are that truly define us. They are sometimes never noticed at the time, and only in hindsight will you sit back and suddenly think, ‘wow’.
Here is a perfect example: I can trace my relationship with my husband back to a guy I dated years ago. How is that possible? How could several failed relationships lead to something so awesome? The answer lies in instant messaging. I met a guy in a chat room way before it was bad news to meet in internet chat rooms. Before our relationship ended he introduced me to online gaming (Everquest), which I fell in love with. After we broke up, I later met another guy on Everquest. Our long distance relationship surged and fizzled, but his sister, whom I developed a friendship with, lived in Seattle. Shortly after that breakup, there was a spark inside me, something pushing me to get out and make my own life somewhere far away from Denver. I decided I’d move to Seattle. At the time, I thought it was a good place for a fresh start, but deep down, I’m sure I thought if I lived close to my ex-boyfriend’s sister, I might see him again. You might have already guessed the rest of the story: I never saw or got back together with the Everquest guy, but I met my future husband while working a temp job in Seattle. The rest is history. A happy, giddy, sometimes hard-to-believe history.
So there it is: One fleeting moment, a random urge to go into a chat room, and years later, I’m married to my husband. It’s funny how brilliant the whole thing is. Behind all the tears of breakups, bad tastes of romance left in my mouth and broken promises, I got the man I love and my best friend rolled into one.
If I really thought about it, I could probably list hundreds of little moments just like this, little pearls of brilliance that came along unexpectedly and took me for a ride. These are the gems that changed me and made me who I am today.
I am a big fan of The Moment. I’ve been waiting for it forever. I’ve been hoping and waiting for this magical moment to come along, completely redefine my life and make things exactly as I think they should be. I can see that woman that I think I should become. I can just imagine the life my husband and I will have if everything goes as planned.
And yet it dawned on me again, like it does nearly every day: Life almost never goes as planned, and what you think you need isn’t usually right. I will tell almost anyone how many times it seems my life has gone off course, only to remember that I’m where I am today because of those alternate routes.
We can map out our lives, and we all try to do it a little every day. We set routines, we get up, we get our coffee, we go to work, we visit with friends, and we come home. We’re controlling our lives, right?
What about those little things that happen throughout our scheduled days? What about those sparkling moments that glisten in our eyes so quickly we don’t even see them? What if they had a say?
They certainly do make a difference; we just don’t notice it until way later when our lives have turned into something we never dreamed of. I use that phrase neutrally, because sometimes, our lives are not something we’re proud of. Sometimes we wish we had different jobs, lived somewhere else or acted differently. We hope and pray for something to come along to change us.
But those little sparkling moments are already hard at work, every day, changing us and forming us into beings even more beautiful than we’ve always been. This is The Moment. And it’s passing by every day without being grasped. Life is just waiting for us to take it, just waiting for us to jump up and down enthusiastically. All this time, The Moment was right in front of my face!
I keep dreaming of my life a year (or five years) from now, when everything is in its place, my career is flourishing and money is no longer an issue. I keep thinking of the perfection I’ll be surrounded by when that life arrives. And I fail to see the beauty and wonder of life already existing around me. This is my life, and this is my moment!
I am reading a book called Cold Tangerines. In it, the author, Shauna Niequist, speaks frankly about her life’s journey, how she failed to see the happiness in front of her and what life is like now that she’s refused to let negativity get the best of her. It’s hard to put down. I’m a few dozen pages in, and I swear, parts of this book read like my own autobiography. It’s funny how similar we all are in that respect. We’re all searching for the big thing that’s going to make our lives suddenly pop into something grand.
What I’ve always known and realize even more as I read this book, is how subtle the events are that truly define us. They are sometimes never noticed at the time, and only in hindsight will you sit back and suddenly think, ‘wow’.
Here is a perfect example: I can trace my relationship with my husband back to a guy I dated years ago. How is that possible? How could several failed relationships lead to something so awesome? The answer lies in instant messaging. I met a guy in a chat room way before it was bad news to meet in internet chat rooms. Before our relationship ended he introduced me to online gaming (Everquest), which I fell in love with. After we broke up, I later met another guy on Everquest. Our long distance relationship surged and fizzled, but his sister, whom I developed a friendship with, lived in Seattle. Shortly after that breakup, there was a spark inside me, something pushing me to get out and make my own life somewhere far away from Denver. I decided I’d move to Seattle. At the time, I thought it was a good place for a fresh start, but deep down, I’m sure I thought if I lived close to my ex-boyfriend’s sister, I might see him again. You might have already guessed the rest of the story: I never saw or got back together with the Everquest guy, but I met my future husband while working a temp job in Seattle. The rest is history. A happy, giddy, sometimes hard-to-believe history.
So there it is: One fleeting moment, a random urge to go into a chat room, and years later, I’m married to my husband. It’s funny how brilliant the whole thing is. Behind all the tears of breakups, bad tastes of romance left in my mouth and broken promises, I got the man I love and my best friend rolled into one.
If I really thought about it, I could probably list hundreds of little moments just like this, little pearls of brilliance that came along unexpectedly and took me for a ride. These are the gems that changed me and made me who I am today.
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