Be Fierce

Hello... (hello, hello)? Pardon the echo: It must be from the empty space left over after months and months of not blogging. Shame on me for letting life get in the way and focusing on more important things!

These more important things mainly consisted of music projects which never end (and I hope that's always the case). I successfully launched my music campaign in October last year, my music is for sale online almost everywhere, my songs have been played on various online radio stations and apps around the country/world, and I'm currently poking and prodding organizations and people to start singing live again. It's a tough, awesome, crazy process, but an epic journey.

There are several tracks I've been working on for a while, simultaneously, and I'm diving back into them. Inspiration comes and goes, and when it clobbers me over the head, I have to work like a crazy person otherwise I'll go nuts. These tracks are all less sunshiny and more melancholy. It goes against what I'm always preaching about, but I'm drawn to passionate and emotional material. It's easy for me to write that way, since I'm admittedly a huge drama queen. I feel like I can dig into it more when it's raw and unbridled. 

Unfortunately, the important things in life also included health concerns. As you may have guessed, this was a little less fun. I don't often share a lot of details about such things, but in the interest of educating you, I'll elaborate. The end of last year, I had a couple of intense presyncope episodes (i.e. almost fainting). Two ECGs and an echocardiogram later, it was determined that vasovagal response was responsible. Basically, I need to drink lots of water and keep some candy with me all the time, and lie down if I feel faint. They also found out that I have IRBBB, but apparently this is fairly common in active young people. If you want to know more, just google everything. It's actually very interesting stuff!

The other health issue happened more recently, and is a little more awkward to talk about, but no less interesting. I'd been experiencing intense stomach discomfort for weeks (among many other symptoms). After several doctor visits, a misdiagnosis, an appointment with a gastroenterologist and a colonoscopy (yes, a full colonoscopy), I was diagnosed with an autoimmune inflammatory disease. Thanks to proper diagnosis and a simple prescription, it's in remission, and I'm feeling more normal again. I may need to continue my prescription indefinitely, but it's a small price to pay.

I feel the need to stress how important it is for you to take care of yourself. With both my health issues, I initially dismissed them. I'm too young for these problems, they'll go away, there's no reason to be concerned, etc. The truth is, if I hadn't gone to the doctor, my system could have been severely damaged. You can't put a price on your health. It's your life! Take care of you. Even if you're dealing with something embarrassing, it's not worth the pain to wait, and you certainly shouldn't be ashamed.

With all the mess behind me, it's easier to put my focus back on what I love, my music. Perhaps the recent challenges in my life have been the main influence behind my darker material. I've been addicted to messages and quotes about hope (i.e. The Shawshank Redemption, lyrics by Coldplay) and I'm subconsciously chanting Ellie Goulding's "Anything Could Happen" in my head all the time (it's currently my ringtone). But despite all of that, life is still pretty grand and pretty sweet. Married life is awesome. I finally cut my hair into a cropped pixie after over a year of hesitation (and I love it). I'm thankful for what I have and things are always looking up!

Most importantly, I'm remembering to be fierce, all the time. Go girl, you got this, it's in your hands, just grab it. Maybe my darker material will be accompanied by some power-anthems. Uplifting and passionate stuff, here I come.