Stronger (For Real)
A few months back, I talked about getting real. It's time to continue that series.
After listening to a few tracks from Kelly Clarkson's latest (upcoming) album, "Stronger", I ventured to her website, and a message appeared at the top saying, 'share your story of strength'. It got me thinking about some of the things I've been through, some of the things that tore me down, cleared the board, took away everything but my foundation and allowed me to build up again.
There's one thing that happened years ago that sticks out above most of the rest, and I hate to be so cliche, but it was an ended relationship. The worst part is I saw it coming months before it happened. I could just tell it wasn't going to work, but that didn't make the sting any less when he ended it. Perhaps having those feelings of insecurity and unanswered questions rattling around my brain for so many weeks was what really broke me down, and the email (yes, he broke up via email) was the final nail.
I know. In hindsight, I should have been furious. He didn't even call me, he sent me an email on a Saturday morning. I should have yelled at him, told him he didn't deserve me, etc. But I was completely lost. I wanted so badly to be happy, to hold on, and I let it get the best of me.
Needless to say, it ruined my entire weekend, and then some. I cried hysterically at the drop of a hat. I cried watching football, even. I never thought that would happen. Nothing could console me. My eyes were like miniature fountains. Weeks went by and the wounds slowly started to heal. I wrote a song to help me get through it. I swore I wouldn't date anyone for a long time, and I made a decision to restart my life.
So I left Denver. I left Colorado and moved to the pacific northwest hoping for a fresh start, and I got it. Everything was different, which I loved. I took it all in, glad to be in a new place, living on my own and being responsible. Then of course I met a lovable guy, and I hesitated. I thought I was protecting myself by keeping him and just about everyone else out of the deepest parts of my life. I finally realized I wasn't protecting myself, I was isolating myself, so I opened up.
The journey getting here was rocky with lots of speed bumps and potholes, but the important thing is I'm here. I came out on the other side a little wiser, a little more hopeful, and dare I say it, just a little stronger. If things hadn't gone the way they did, I don't think my life would have brought me here. So for that, in some twisted and weird way, I'm grateful. And you can bet I'm going to finish that song, and I think it'll turn out pretty darn good.
After listening to a few tracks from Kelly Clarkson's latest (upcoming) album, "Stronger", I ventured to her website, and a message appeared at the top saying, 'share your story of strength'. It got me thinking about some of the things I've been through, some of the things that tore me down, cleared the board, took away everything but my foundation and allowed me to build up again.
There's one thing that happened years ago that sticks out above most of the rest, and I hate to be so cliche, but it was an ended relationship. The worst part is I saw it coming months before it happened. I could just tell it wasn't going to work, but that didn't make the sting any less when he ended it. Perhaps having those feelings of insecurity and unanswered questions rattling around my brain for so many weeks was what really broke me down, and the email (yes, he broke up via email) was the final nail.
I know. In hindsight, I should have been furious. He didn't even call me, he sent me an email on a Saturday morning. I should have yelled at him, told him he didn't deserve me, etc. But I was completely lost. I wanted so badly to be happy, to hold on, and I let it get the best of me.
Needless to say, it ruined my entire weekend, and then some. I cried hysterically at the drop of a hat. I cried watching football, even. I never thought that would happen. Nothing could console me. My eyes were like miniature fountains. Weeks went by and the wounds slowly started to heal. I wrote a song to help me get through it. I swore I wouldn't date anyone for a long time, and I made a decision to restart my life.
So I left Denver. I left Colorado and moved to the pacific northwest hoping for a fresh start, and I got it. Everything was different, which I loved. I took it all in, glad to be in a new place, living on my own and being responsible. Then of course I met a lovable guy, and I hesitated. I thought I was protecting myself by keeping him and just about everyone else out of the deepest parts of my life. I finally realized I wasn't protecting myself, I was isolating myself, so I opened up.
The journey getting here was rocky with lots of speed bumps and potholes, but the important thing is I'm here. I came out on the other side a little wiser, a little more hopeful, and dare I say it, just a little stronger. If things hadn't gone the way they did, I don't think my life would have brought me here. So for that, in some twisted and weird way, I'm grateful. And you can bet I'm going to finish that song, and I think it'll turn out pretty darn good.
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